![]() My idea of a perfect government is one guy who sits in a small room at a desk, and the only thing he’s allowed to decide is who to nuke. – April Ludgateīreakfast food can serve many purposes. I wasn’t listening but I strongly disagree with Ann. – Donna MeagleĬapitalism: God’s way of determining who is smart and who is poor. And if I had an hour alone with Robert Pattinson, he would forget all about Skinny Legs Magee, I’ll tell you that much. Oh, I love any book about vampires, werewolves, monsters, zombies, sorcerers, beasties, or time- traveling romances. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. I’m not interested in caring about people. The less I know about other people’s affairs, the happier I am. – Craig Middlebrooksĭo I look like I drink water? – Donna Meagle These dogs are so cute I want to throw up and kill myself. When I eat, it is the food that is scared. ![]() I don’t want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief. The government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer’s teat until they have sore, chapped nipples. – Donna MeagleĮverything is A- okay coolio beans. I was sobbing at a pizza buffet, and they asked me to leave. Deal with your problems yourselves, like adults. If any of you need anything at all, too bad. ![]() Scientists believe that the first human being who will live 150 years has already been born. There are a lot of cant’s in my life right now. – Ron SwansonĬan’t make a good soup, can’t do a handstand in a pool. When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them. I think that comic sans always screams fun, right? – Jerry Gergich My anxiety has kept me up for over 50 hours. There is no quiet anymore, there is only Doc McStuffins. And he would always guess that the main character had been dead the whole time. When Andy and I used to go the movies, he would always try to guess the ending of the movie. It’s really hard to say congrats without sounding sarcastic. My dream is to have the park system privatized and run entirely for profit by corporations, like Chuck E. I wanted to make fun of stupid people while I get drunk. If there were more food and fewer people, this would be a perfect party. If you’re enjoying this article, you might also love 61+ Best Bill Parcells Quotes: Exclusive Selection Leslie, I tried to make ramen in the coffee pot, and I broke everything. Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here, and it says you could have network connectivity problems. Leslie Knope: No offense, but I don’t remember you having a nursing degree in feelings! – Leslie KnopeĪnn Perkins: No offense, but maybe that’s a little bit of an excuse for not acting on your feelings! I don’t want to be overdramatic, but today felt like a hundred years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life. I’m like an elephant, OK? If I walk into a room it’s like, OK, he’s in there. We have to remember what’s important in life: friends, waffles and work. Just remember, every time you look up at the moon, I too will be looking at the moon. Let’s go! – April LudgateĮverything hurts and I’m dying. Time is money Money is power Power is pizza Pizza is knowledge. ![]() Which is water that is lying about being milk. There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Life is a miracle.Inspirational Parks and Rec Quotes Top Parks and Recreation Quotes You would be shocked, 'cause they are rooting around for that nipple. Yep, and it happens sooner than you'd think. Jerry: And, of course, pretty soon, Ann, your milk is gonna come in. You know, actually, before my kids, I looked a lot like you, Chris. Jerry: Well, Gayle, she got really queasy, and I gained a lot of sympathy weight. I mean, soon you're gonna start showing, and then your clothes will feel tight, and then, oh, people are gonna start rubbing your tummy all the time! Ann: That sounds terrible. Jerry: Oh, my God, that's wonderful news! Oh, there's so much in front of you. Now, here's a piece of information that is interesting. Of course, I had to cancel my cardiologist appoint- Chris: That's great. Jerry: Yeah, Ron asked me to come in while he's away.
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